just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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