This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
