you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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