I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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