VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
