No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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