I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
