im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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