I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
