So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
