great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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