glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
