Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
