my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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