..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
