Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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