I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
