Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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