No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
did i just pee glitter
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
