What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
