just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
