So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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