it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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