I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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