Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
