as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
