I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
