You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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