when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
