She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
