you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
