ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
