google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
