thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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