In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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