im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
