I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
