the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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