they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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