Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His hands were made for my vagina.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
