first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
