that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
