I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
