Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
