I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
