he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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