I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
