I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
