Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
