I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
