Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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